ARTERY

Take your breath deep .. and then let it out.  While you are breating out , put your hand on your pulse  (special on your carotide artery).

Can you feel it ?

This is YOU.   This is YOUR WHOLE.  This is YOUR BEING.  

And by every rhythm you can be sure that calls your name by God.

But this is not the theme that I want to write about it.  My focus on heart is in another way ; LOVE.  In the past as I was a child, I thought that the heart was the manager from the feelings, special from love.  Because everyone from my around was talking just only about the heart.

"... my heart is soooo broken!!   He/She left me!"

"... why are you so rude, you broke my heart !"

"... my heart is in pain!  I love him/her but he/she didn't do that!!"

"... my heart  is beating like crazy when she/he comes to my near !!"

"... my heart tells me that its enough, but why can I end it then???"

... take a look to all that quotations ; is there another option to believe that the heart is not the organ that managed our feelings?    In my age at that time , it was very simple to define the love process :)) The heart was the one !    But in the same time was very wondered about its mechanism. 

How could it talk?  How could it manage the brain?   How could it be possible?   How could the heart feel?   How could it comprehend the love?   How could it know about the love?  How could allow all the behaviors for it ?    How .. ???

If you will guess , it was rather difficult to find the right answers for all that questions in my young age. But with 9-10 you start to became with all that face to face status, and if there is nobody to explain you what it happens at that moment, then you start to believe that the heart is the most important thing in your body!  [for sure I'm still believing on that too , but maybe I can add to this opinion  that the brain can not be also letting out of the game :)]  

 

As I was 9-10 years old, I was fall in love to a boy sitting just beyond a few apartments.  He was really handsome and popular.  But in the same time , because of his "special skills"  :) (handsome and popular) were my other girlfriends also falled in love with him and they were looked more "teeny".  They were more swanky than me. Because I was rather tiny, frail and looked like a boy.. and  my behaviors were also a little bit "masculine".  The reason why I couldn't get never that boy that I had been felt in love,  was  my appearance.  Despite of that  my heart was working rather good / with power by that point.  In everytime when he was by us , my pulse was getting so fast so that my cheeks were glowing totally in red. 

And my heart was beating like that :" I LIKE HIM..   I LIKE HIM...   I LIKE HIM !!!"   

You might not believing me now, I had put my fingers on my artery everytime when I was getting excited.  I loved feeling it.. the rhythm.  And be sure you wouldn't want to  listen my dialogs in me / my heart  .. (my brain)  hohohoooo ..   so confused..so loud.. actually so teeny :)))))  

And you know what ; it didn't changed never.  My heart talks still again so much.

 

Today I affirm herewith that your heart can talk.  I mean..  what I want to say is here that actually  your artery talks to you the truth ones if you can hear its very good.  And you would listen YOURSELF/YOU during doing that.  You would feel the LOVE and remember  the GOD again in the same time.. 

 

Its a MIRACLE !

 

The rhythm is just YOU ...  Now feel it ! 

 

FIND YOUR ARTERY ;)

 

 

xoxo

ö.N

Dentist

I had a terrible toothache in one of the last weeks .. From time to time it let felt with bombastic pains in unexpected times in which I was walked around such a mad cow!!

Do you know that feeling??? 

Have you had been  before  ??

I am sure some of you lived that crazy ache , in which you have felt  that your whole body was stucked in there.  Am I right??  ;)

But in the same time you are asking  yourself now,  why I didn't visit any dentist in that moment, right?    I did ..  Believe me... But there are a lot of memories which I don't want to remember them.

All beganns  as I was a child. My parents were in germany as I was growing up with my angel grandmom in Turkey.  And every summer when they came for holiday they brought me some sweets in a full bag which as a kid was like in a dream  ;  chocolates.. candys... lollipops.. gums..  

So guess what this kid was done with all that ?! ;P

Yeap!   This kid (me) has filled her mouth with all them!    :)))))))))))))  

 

Again and again till she was getting drowned (hahahahaha)  ...

 

Let's imagine... there is a little head  with two swollen cheeks and beside of that she hold the package in the hand so tightly so that nobody couldn't  take from her hand !!   

 

It tooks courage baby!! ;)))))))))))  

 

Actually I have quiet slid eyes and as I was a child it seems like so that all people could believe when I would say that I am a little japanese girl  and also think that I am able to  karate or  teakwan-do automatically..  And by every little interfering to the package , they would see a little slid eye girl that kicks jumped around and screamed like a Ninja.   Haaayyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!

 

Well  .. as you will guess ,  after year by year  I became rotten teeths. And I had to visit DENTIST.

 

And the horror was beginning from that moment on !!!

 

My experiences was seems like that :

 

By every visit there, my grandmom was quiet crazy,  because I tried to run away everytime.  All people there was on catching me ; the dentists also, personally! :)   There was people around me in everywhere  that had white gowns like in horror movies.

The seat was seems like a tortour place, in which I was in believe, that the dentist was trying to take out all my teeths from the mouth.  Because of I had really bed teeths , was the process holding over.  

Hitting needles ...  you feel yourself like a paralytic ; can't  feel your lips, tongue, cheek..

Pulling teeths ... Filling teeths...Hurrible !

 

And what about the instruments of a dentist ?!?!?!    Oh my god!   

The sounds of tools by craving, cleaning is something like it would  happen all that in your brain

/ skull!

 

So .. and  by every visit there it had been end  with crying  -  yelling. 

We can define it as  SAD END ..

 

And this was never changed ; I was hating dentists ...  I still hate them.

And try to visit them as few as possible.

 

Finally because of after two sleepless night and painfull days I was by my dentist again.  As he saw me I knew that he was so "happy" (!) to see me, because he knew about my real feelings for all dentists, I saw suddenly a smile on his face that it was looking so dirty and full of revenge. 

 

He told me while wearing his gloves :

 

"Özlem we have to pull out your 20 age tooth from there ..you should visit me periodcally" ...

 

.. and I knew that it would be never end :)))

 

 

ö.N

 

xoxo