Two Doors

Once upon time there was a Samurai who was plan a war. The seigniory was taken from him. His dignity was damaged through that experience. The Samurai's, who were the highest ranked soldiers in the principalities, could lost their pride by any wrong behaviours at that times. Even they were also respected by public, they would falled down from their grace very quickly. The grace of folk was like a knife that was sharp on both sides. By a traditional entcounter emulation in his seigniory was occured a chaos, in which the master was blamed for it and sentenced to the death. The honor is a very important feeling in Japan, what is still value nowadays. But in the past was it more harder; was perceived as a matter of life. All masters and samurai's were taken care of to be commended to be respected. Because of that reason, they would wish for Seppuku (Harakiri) by any position in which they would defined as "guilty" or "responsible for" something negative situation.

Seppuko (Harakiri) is a form of ritual suicide that was practiced by the samurai's and daimyo of Japan. It usually involved cutting the abdomen open with a short sword, which was believed to immedaitely release the samurai's spirit to the afterlife. In many cases, a friend or a servant would serve as a  second, and would ritaully decapitate the samurai to provide release from the terrible pain of abdominal cuts. The second needed to be very skillful with his sword to achieve the perfect decapitation, known as kaishaku, or "empraced head". The trick was to leave a small flap of skin attached at the front of the neck, so that the head would fall forward and look like it was being cradled by the dead samurai's arms. Samurai commited seppuku for a member of reasons, in accordance with bushido, the samurai code of cunduct. Motivations could include personal shame due to cowardice in battle, shame over a dishonest act, or loss of sponsorship from a daimyo.

The Samurai's that their master was published for Seppuku (Harakiri), had been getting intend for a war of taking back their lost honors again. Because of needed good swords for the war, they visited the best master of their town. His proficiency was very known in all around, even in other far seignories. He formed the Katana's with his whole respect of himself, that it was calculated with the feelings of love and belonging to the country. The store was just very small but he had three other apprentices in there, with whom he was working not very long. The Samurai's told him that they needed sturdy-sharp Katana's in short time. The master told them, that he had many works on pending and couldn't also create not so fast.  Beside of that as a matter of fact, that the best Katana's, which most sharpest swords of the world are, would be proceed during the months. Because they would be use with Wakizasahi's, which will be determined by length under or over 30 cm unless their intended use can be absolutely determined for using Katana's unsuitable positions. Samurai's moved both of swords, and called that as Daisho (Dai-Katana/sho-Wakizashi). Because samurai's didn't have so many time for waiting, so adviced him for overworking; insomuch that they offered also a few men for the support by side of his apprentices. But that was impossible , because even with all of three, the space was too narrow. The master told them, he would find a solution for that. As he was in home, he thought about that very long. He realized for a moment, how these were growing up inside of him. He was giving his all efforts to them day by day. What would they do, when he would past away one day?..  To whom would stay the store?..  All his labors, his life, his mastery, his honor...

Three apprentices were very different from eachother, every had their own strengths and weaknesses.
The ones was very submissive, so that wouldn't do anything without masters assent. The other was very canny, was rather jealous and selfish, but as opposite of all that, he does his job very well. However even they were be very good, they wouldn't be never produced in deadlines, so it means he was rather slow.  But the third one... was a mix from the others. So was called as the most ideal one between all of them. Was very diligent, compatible ; also stayed strong and had very big potencial for ability and the right spirit of creating Katana's. In last days master thought the enthusiasmus was lost by the third one. He didn't know why. But had been feeling that since long.  He couldn't sleep with these thoughts. The night was the morning...

He came his store very early in the morning and saw that his best "trainee" had been prepared all needed things as always it was. The others weren't came yet, so he wanted to use that chance for a small talk. He said;

"Kosuke, I'm your master. You are so in silence in last days. So in reluctant?"

Kosuke was just in listening, was glad about masters awareness. But couldn't forget the scene, in which was heard that the master was complaining about all of them three weeks ago. He said that he couldn't trust his trainees and was in opinion that they weren't be mature  enough. He couldn't imagine what it would be with the store when he would past away ; which apprentice could take the place instead of him?  The Friend said that he could think on Kosuke.   The Master was shocked about that idea, and said ;  "Kosuke is a girl! It can't be!  How can I let her as master here??"

... Kosuke heard it, and was really sad about that. She lost her self-confidence at that moment. Why did he teached her by all the years, when he thought that she couldn't be a master?  She was also as knowledgeable as other male masters at least, was very skillful, could work like the others so strong and devoted. Besides this, a master wouldn't never teach them. They would learn by their own. As masters they wouldn't never let reach their trainees on their levels. The hierarchy was felt always. But the most heartbreaking issue was, that master Masahiro doesn't believe her. Kosuke ;

" Master Masahiro!  I think.. I don't want to continue with that anymore. I know that I can't be a master as a woman. Because of that reason, I'm asking you for your permit of leaving."

Master Masahiro was very shocked about that permit!  The conversation was started just yet, but the the result was absolutly unexpected..  She was the best of all. He didn't knew, what he should be think or do!?  He should have done something wrong ; something that he would want to take back what he lost now. He knew she wouldn't stay anymore at all!

........

If you are a "master" of something or an "artist" by any craft,  or a "manager/membership/boss" in a company, or a "mother/father/any family member" , or a "friend" ; so please try to give your whole support on the people, that they have a capacity, the ability, very good performance, belonging and love of that, what he/she does.  Because don't never forget ; you also were started with a support of somebodyelse. You also were seen from that other people..

The knowledge is something that it grows up by every share.

Because there are two doors in our lifes ; in which one we go through in it and create ourselves as a human and the other one is, in which you help the other by creating themselves to be a human.

Two natural doors (transsitions) that makes life easy of receiving-giving process between birth and death.

Two doors :  Kosuke  (Sun rising)   / Masahiro : (Wide-eyed) 

xoxo
ö.N

Jealous or Envy

What if I would ask you what the different of these two similar words is ?   
And..  Do you have any answer ?       Let me explain that with some basic examples.

I was in a party one of in last weekends, in which were joined many models.  The organizer was a good friend of me that we know eachother till 5 years.  He is one of  most modest person in my network that might have not been met before.  He is single child and didn't have any financial problem in his life , the reason was that the parents were really in good business positions in which he had been became all what he wanted just in that moment.  Well he was the lucky guy between us ;)

Anyway, he want to create a new business channel and get some researchs by facilities of possibilities by our  friends as "business network". 

... So from that moment on, I used my special skill  "observe and analyse"  what I saw.  This is my profession side ,in which it never doesn't failed me.  Some of part that group was really happy about his plans and were contributed with their ideas. But the other part was extremely jealous and was completely  quiet or made negative opinions so that he was confused and lost his courage for a moment. How bad is that ?!?! It could be have only one titel for that situation, and it means ; this kind of people doesn't want to see the happiness of other people ; they are JEALOUS ...

And jealous persons will be seperated on 2 ways ;

1)  harmless
2)  harmfull

The harmless group  stay as "neutral"  (but in truth they are not) , and try to be calm  (normally they have some internal conflicts all the time ; in other words they are actually always restless types)

But  although other group , they don't damage anybody.. They are talking just with theirselves..

So it means they damage themselves and give all negative energy just back on their being.

In a expression said : Barking dogs seldom bites...

But the second group is the most dangerous ones.  They are not just only jeolous,  they are like a fox that plans something harmfull always at same time.  It means ; once thief, always a thief ... They won't gonna be changed. You should know just  that you can comb out like these people from your life. They are dislodgeble , really.. believe me; you can do it !

We will be never  have the same conditions, skills, personalities, circles.. The ones will be have "the most better" things in life  (these theme is open for arguments of course) then we have or had.

Instead of consuming ourselves  with "why.. why not.." questions, it would be better to try to have more usefull things in life. Or trying being to better person then we are still..

What was about the other group that were happy about his plans and was supporting him? They were just asking themselves how he was lucky and they are not, and also " ..what if?" question.  I think they are faced just with their possibilities and pasts, and are querying with "..if only?!" situation. So as we see these kind of people can be happy with others luck and can transfer their ideas to the lucky people.  Because they are just envying the situation not the person..  It may seems a little different between that two verbs , but we are talking about two distinct meanings.

And also, let me ask you one quesiton :

" Why should we give our energy for a negative status / verb and  behave us like  "bad people" instead of being just "nice" and allow to stream  the positive energy around ?? "

 

Do you have any reason for it ?  ... Then ok, keep going on, just be bad!

..but don't complain never when you should have nobody around you in future ....


xoxo
ö.N

ARTERY

Take your breath deep .. and then let it out.  While you are breating out , put your hand on your pulse  (special on your carotide artery).

Can you feel it ?

This is YOU.   This is YOUR WHOLE.  This is YOUR BEING.  

And by every rhythm you can be sure that calls your name by God.

But this is not the theme that I want to write about it.  My focus on heart is in another way ; LOVE.  In the past as I was a child, I thought that the heart was the manager from the feelings, special from love.  Because everyone from my around was talking just only about the heart.

"... my heart is soooo broken!!   He/She left me!"

"... why are you so rude, you broke my heart !"

"... my heart is in pain!  I love him/her but he/she didn't do that!!"

"... my heart  is beating like crazy when she/he comes to my near !!"

"... my heart tells me that its enough, but why can I end it then???"

... take a look to all that quotations ; is there another option to believe that the heart is not the organ that managed our feelings?    In my age at that time , it was very simple to define the love process :)) The heart was the one !    But in the same time was very wondered about its mechanism. 

How could it talk?  How could it manage the brain?   How could it be possible?   How could the heart feel?   How could it comprehend the love?   How could it know about the love?  How could allow all the behaviors for it ?    How .. ???

If you will guess , it was rather difficult to find the right answers for all that questions in my young age. But with 9-10 you start to became with all that face to face status, and if there is nobody to explain you what it happens at that moment, then you start to believe that the heart is the most important thing in your body!  [for sure I'm still believing on that too , but maybe I can add to this opinion  that the brain can not be also letting out of the game :)]  

 

As I was 9-10 years old, I was fall in love to a boy sitting just beyond a few apartments.  He was really handsome and popular.  But in the same time , because of his "special skills"  :) (handsome and popular) were my other girlfriends also falled in love with him and they were looked more "teeny".  They were more swanky than me. Because I was rather tiny, frail and looked like a boy.. and  my behaviors were also a little bit "masculine".  The reason why I couldn't get never that boy that I had been felt in love,  was  my appearance.  Despite of that  my heart was working rather good / with power by that point.  In everytime when he was by us , my pulse was getting so fast so that my cheeks were glowing totally in red. 

And my heart was beating like that :" I LIKE HIM..   I LIKE HIM...   I LIKE HIM !!!"   

You might not believing me now, I had put my fingers on my artery everytime when I was getting excited.  I loved feeling it.. the rhythm.  And be sure you wouldn't want to  listen my dialogs in me / my heart  .. (my brain)  hohohoooo ..   so confused..so loud.. actually so teeny :)))))  

And you know what ; it didn't changed never.  My heart talks still again so much.

 

Today I affirm herewith that your heart can talk.  I mean..  what I want to say is here that actually  your artery talks to you the truth ones if you can hear its very good.  And you would listen YOURSELF/YOU during doing that.  You would feel the LOVE and remember  the GOD again in the same time.. 

 

Its a MIRACLE !

 

The rhythm is just YOU ...  Now feel it ! 

 

FIND YOUR ARTERY ;)

 

 

xoxo

ö.N

Dentist

I had a terrible toothache in one of the last weeks .. From time to time it let felt with bombastic pains in unexpected times in which I was walked around such a mad cow!!

Do you know that feeling??? 

Have you had been  before  ??

I am sure some of you lived that crazy ache , in which you have felt  that your whole body was stucked in there.  Am I right??  ;)

But in the same time you are asking  yourself now,  why I didn't visit any dentist in that moment, right?    I did ..  Believe me... But there are a lot of memories which I don't want to remember them.

All beganns  as I was a child. My parents were in germany as I was growing up with my angel grandmom in Turkey.  And every summer when they came for holiday they brought me some sweets in a full bag which as a kid was like in a dream  ;  chocolates.. candys... lollipops.. gums..  

So guess what this kid was done with all that ?! ;P

Yeap!   This kid (me) has filled her mouth with all them!    :)))))))))))))  

 

Again and again till she was getting drowned (hahahahaha)  ...

 

Let's imagine... there is a little head  with two swollen cheeks and beside of that she hold the package in the hand so tightly so that nobody couldn't  take from her hand !!   

 

It tooks courage baby!! ;)))))))))))  

 

Actually I have quiet slid eyes and as I was a child it seems like so that all people could believe when I would say that I am a little japanese girl  and also think that I am able to  karate or  teakwan-do automatically..  And by every little interfering to the package , they would see a little slid eye girl that kicks jumped around and screamed like a Ninja.   Haaayyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!

 

Well  .. as you will guess ,  after year by year  I became rotten teeths. And I had to visit DENTIST.

 

And the horror was beginning from that moment on !!!

 

My experiences was seems like that :

 

By every visit there, my grandmom was quiet crazy,  because I tried to run away everytime.  All people there was on catching me ; the dentists also, personally! :)   There was people around me in everywhere  that had white gowns like in horror movies.

The seat was seems like a tortour place, in which I was in believe, that the dentist was trying to take out all my teeths from the mouth.  Because of I had really bed teeths , was the process holding over.  

Hitting needles ...  you feel yourself like a paralytic ; can't  feel your lips, tongue, cheek..

Pulling teeths ... Filling teeths...Hurrible !

 

And what about the instruments of a dentist ?!?!?!    Oh my god!   

The sounds of tools by craving, cleaning is something like it would  happen all that in your brain

/ skull!

 

So .. and  by every visit there it had been end  with crying  -  yelling. 

We can define it as  SAD END ..

 

And this was never changed ; I was hating dentists ...  I still hate them.

And try to visit them as few as possible.

 

Finally because of after two sleepless night and painfull days I was by my dentist again.  As he saw me I knew that he was so "happy" (!) to see me, because he knew about my real feelings for all dentists, I saw suddenly a smile on his face that it was looking so dirty and full of revenge. 

 

He told me while wearing his gloves :

 

"Özlem we have to pull out your 20 age tooth from there ..you should visit me periodcally" ...

 

.. and I knew that it would be never end :)))

 

 

ö.N

 

xoxo

 

 

 

 

White Light

I read a book about  the stories from died people for a short time  (for example - stopped heart).  It is really interesting thing.  Because every person that had experienced, are telling about a soi-disant "white light" in the end of life tunnel, which it's a said that their life scenes flowed for their eyes  (they call it so)  - but we all know it's just our mind that technically the last power supply of the brain is  as it were.  But we can  call it also as the last adrenaline installation of brain.
 

Well .. there was a young man from which story I was very impressed as I read it.

 

His name is Brandon (16) . He had very normal life;  was a student in college, also was in footballteam very active;  so healthy and so young..

Like in an ordinary american film, isn't it ?  

Because of he is a single child  , had became all wishes as real from the parents. The Mother was  mollycoddled him so much and therefore was Brandon a little bit "perky". And this mood in college had its own celebration. Everybody was knowing when it was spoken about him , there was some perky behaviours also in it ; very usual.

But one day .. as he wanted to join a party,  his life was changed from night to another.

He had the drive licence first yet. And was so excited to experience it. His father made a present of him a car based his success.  The way to  partyhouse was in the mountain, so that had a lot of bends on it.  This city was Montana, which had always so curved roads that probably was very ordinary for the people there. At this day was the weather also rainy. He couldn't get the curve and rolled up from the slope.  His heart was stopped working, so that  the emergency sanitariens had to give him  two times electroshocks by driving  to hospital. 

End the end as he woke up  (he was in coma one month) , was in very bed situation.. 

...  he had been paralyzed.

After hard days and nights in a year  as  physical and also psychological , there was some changes on him said the mother. When he woke up from the coma, he was still mute and paralyzed, but was completely aware of what was going on around him. But with the time Brandon underwent therapy, he was finally talking and even learning to walk and one  part of that therapy was listening to music. The doctors said that there are different types of comas, including ones where people stay asleep and ones where they wake up sometimes. Brandon was staying in sleep for a month and than woked up.

In the book was all family interviewed . The mother said that he wouldn't be headstrong anymore like in past.  He is more emotional, more kind, more positive. He is thinking about the world and on the people more then past. Was much more interested for people that got in same situations and so as beside all of that he was now a member by a disabled association.

But Brandons part of interview was rather strange, interesting and also scary.

" ... what I remember is, was recalled plunging into darkness and seeing a bright white light. There was a field of flowers and a figure in white who spoke me about my future. White light was given to me the feeling from to be free. It was so smooth .. so in safe.. But it was real!   So real that you can "feel" your feelings...  If you ask me why I am changed, I would answer it , the white light was the way of God and the God has told me that I have the second chance now. "

I know .. while that almost sounds too wild to believe, it’s actually happened to Brandon or the possibility that it could happen to us.  Nobody really knows what the fact is. 

But the only thing that we can be sure is, live your moments  as you saw the white light everytime..in everyday.  You don't need to be spoilet so that you ignore all important things.

Believe me ..  we have a said here in my homeland ;

"THE LIFE IS BOUND TO A COTTON THREAD"

One wrong small mistake, it can be split up ...

Keep it in your mind.

AND , keep the music in your world !!!! 

xoxo
ö.N


 

The Crush with "Su"

She thought the night was really nice as she took a sip of her drink. She loved going out and having fun with friends.  Even that hours, which had long day in the work was still very energetic; loved the adventure and also wasn't care at all. Exact like in her 20's.  She does sport and was everytime good looking. It was the one think what was good to her at that moment, her body. Sport tooks her stress.. Even she had good trained body, had also wrinkles around her eyes. They made her angry, and also sad. But in the same time she had realized that she loves them. Because they was talking her own story by every looking  in mirror. They had the responsibility to remain all what she had been living  in the past. She was sitting at a table with dim lights, and was in feeling the delicious meal while she drunk her wine.  All her  friends was talking and laughing very funny..  She saw them and was very glad to have all of them.  They were like a family. Every one from them was very important for her. She was feeling so in safe.  But now she needed an adventure moments than as safety time.

 

After dinner they were gone all together to a club. It was dark, full with people. Actually they was feeding eachother but she prefered to be choosed some new people. And at that night was searching for a couple eyes on her.. Everytime when she got these eyes through the darkness in the club atmosphere, she was feeling  the power of being woman. It could not explain directly but she was obsessed about that feeling , about flirting .. this long passes in straight places, this exciting between man and woman..  sparks on the looks..  crush of souls behind the bodies.. etc.

 

She could not pass on , because "EYES" were very important for her. Special  the "LOOKS"

 

All crowd of danced people around her was overlaped.  The lasers which  was circeled up and down in there, was really tiring. She realized that her drink was end, stand  up and try to split all danced crowd.  Coming near to the bar was impossible.  For a second she was in feeling like aggravated. Prompt she was decided first to go WC. And at this time as she wanted to turn to the way for WC, there was a man front of her.  Just in moment she thought that he is some of from her friends, but as she  looks in the eyes, they were in stuck.  He had colored eyes but was not sure which color it was. And he also was tall. So that her neck was in hurt. She was sure , he was looking good but the details on his face was in the darkness. She could pick up his face now and than..

 

She gathered herself and said suddenly : " Sorry.. May I.."

   

And at this moment they were be locked.   The crowd was like none existing .. It was not matter for both of them.. The seconds were like as hours in the moment..

It was cruch of looks ..

River

"You will never own the future if you care what other people think.“

-Cindy Gallop-

Isn't it ?

Even you should have been learned to respect other people, we all have our own ways in our lifes.  But there are some  small differents between believing to these talked people for your benefit or for their own ego without thinking of you. 

I was never understood why people dislike listening other people in real  and start to criticize with none-empathy. Furthermore it brings us the perspective of not heeding the others. And so comes the insensitivity.

Over the past 20 years I have "studied" the communication arts between all people and also saw the different definitions of it.  Well.. I can only say ; this issue is so deep and can change for everyone.

But I got the message the first time as I have started to visit other countries and meet other people. As I was in germany, there was a boy, named Michael, he was gay. But in those days we were so young - teenage (13-14)  and could not know what it  "specifically" was.  All boys were making their funs of him without knowing what kind of results it could be bring in his life. He was so unhappy about his life, his choices. In the same time his family could not accept him at all too.  So he had been to live a life with the guidance from his parents, friends, whatever the title the people had. This was so sad ..

By our small talks ; I also was a stranger and an outsider in the class, because I was from another country, religion and could not speak german very well at that time, so we, Michael and me together had common points ; he meaned that he would feel like a river. 

As you know he said, rivers have their own way but in the same time there are many barriers like a rock or tree.. etc.   It seems the way from the river is determined by kind of these reasons.. On the other hand the river flows that place in where it has their own end. And so he meaned his personality and choices also would be end like a river.

I liked this analogy from Michael so much that time.. And I remember it everytime as long as  I need.
  

In the end, you will see that the people around us won't be never disappear from our life.

But there are some persons that they are talking because they are worried for us.  Our family ..
They are pure , unrequited lovers..

Maybe we should do that also when we get our kids. We should think only ;

 “Let’s see where this kid ends up by nature. Let’s not try to navigate him/her  into whatever we think might be good for him/her.”

Which sounds like a beautiful concept…


Sooo ... let us them be like a river ..


xoxo
ö.N